Dr. Tom Garcia

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Setting Boundaries: On Being Unfuc*withable

Many years ago I encountered a boundary issue with a friend. The experience was upsetting to both of us and while it did not permanently damage our friendship, it was big enough that it got my attention. 

Naturally, I blamed him for failing to recognize my boundaries and my response seemed disproportionate to the circumstances. We both felt betrayed. 

After dissecting in my own mind what happened, and feeling righteously upset, it dawned on me that my sense of betrayal was one of self betrayal. I had failed to honor my own boundaries because I didn’t know what they were.

It was a revelation that left me euphoric because I knew the root of the problem lay with me and that to know and honor my boundaries was my responsibility, not anyone else’s.

I found a short length of barbed wire and kept it on my altar where I could see it everyday as a reminder, until one day I no longer needed a piece of barbed wire to remind me of my own boundaries.

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Native American Hallucinogenic Plants

My Return to Psychedelics

Hallucinogenic mushrooms grow in a natural environment. Mushrooms containing psilocybin.

Psychedelics. Seems like suddenly everyone is talking about them, on social media, in books and magazines, articles and medical journals. Last year at the end of 2022, psilocybin mushrooms became legal in Colorado.

My earliest experience with psychedelics was in the 70’s. I was a teenager then—mushrooms, peyote, mescaline, and LSD were part of the drug culture. My friends and I were lost boys–wild, reckless, and dangerously naive without guidance, structure, or safety. Small wonder we survived that time.

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I Want To Hibernate

Awaken Together From A Long Winter

human hibernation syndrome

This has been a long winter. And I love winter—snow shoeing  through the woods, packing a sled in the bracing cold, and making fires at night.

Winter also comes with the urge to be in a cocoon, to turn inward like a bear in hibernation—or head south for the winter. 

The primitive desire to slow down goes back to the distant past when we followed the rhythms and cycles of nature. In the winter it was practical to lay low because food was scarce and physical movement burned precious calories.  

The orientation of our culture tends to ignore nature. 

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Our Little Secret

Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I’ll be mad.― Rumi

Recently, I was in the hot seat on a mastermind call. A “hot seat” is just like it sounds—your question or concern is the focus of others in a group who offer their collective wisdom and insight. 

Such intense scrutiny is both uncomfortable and incredibly valuable.  

The hot seat helped me to see something just beyond the edge of my awareness–a blind spot. I was both curious and determined to bring it out of the shadows and into the light of awareness. I began asking myself, why was I holding back? What was holding me back? Gradually, fear came to light. The fear of being judged, criticized, not accepted–the fear of rejection. That I’ve worked on this before didn’t matter. There it was, again, and once again I began to look to see where I was afraid to be who I am–afraid to be me. 

I know it sounds absurd, but ask yourself, “Where are you afraid to be you?” 

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