The ability to create safe sacred space is a gift. The power of ritual expressed in a deeply grounded ceremony touches the heart and mind. It moves us effortlessly into the realm of spirit and allows for deep, meaningful conversation, even without plant medicine.
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Everyone Would Call It a Miracle – A Story of Forgiveness
Our oldest daughter has two dads. For all the years growing up, her dad and I were in constant conflict. Every time we came together we locked horns. Our relationship was bitter and contentious. I was angry and resentful.
From the outset, the menace of alcoholism hung between us and cast a pall over our family. We were all held hostage to the ravages of alcohol. I did not know how to deal with the situation or where to turn for help. The more I resisted the more difficult things became and we all suffered, most of all our daughter.
A hidden part of the conflict was my relationship with my own father and what had gone unresolved between us. There was a pattern repeating itself and I struggled to understand it.
The light didn’t come for me to forgive my daughter’s dad until many years later–after I forgave my own father.
[Read more…] about Everyone Would Call It a Miracle – A Story of ForgivenessMake a Circle
make a circle and put a fire in it
put a stake in the ground
tie yourself to it
take a stand—for yourself
and you’ll know what to do
lead with love
there is nothing love cannot handle
come from love in everything you do
you were made in love, by love, for love.
love is the only way
release your judgments and forgive
yourself first, and then the others
this is the depth of self care
be gentle with yourself now
so that your capacity
to be gentle with others can expand
light as a feather…
your purpose is to love
and to forgive anything
that appears unlike love
begin right where you are
Love and Blessings,
Tom
What is Forgiveness
What is Forgiveness?
forgiveness is a state of mind
a way of being in the world—to be forgiving
especially with ourselves
forgiveness is a paradox
we don’t forgive the unforgivable
yet the only sane response is to forgive
Setting Boundaries
Setting Boundaries: On Being Unfuc*withable
Many years ago I encountered a boundary issue with a friend. The experience was upsetting to both of us and while it did not permanently damage our friendship, it was big enough that it got my attention.
Naturally, I blamed him for failing to recognize my boundaries and my response seemed disproportionate to the circumstances. We both felt betrayed.
After dissecting in my own mind what happened, and feeling righteously upset, it dawned on me that my sense of betrayal was one of self betrayal. I had failed to honor my own boundaries because I didn’t know what they were.
It was a revelation that left me euphoric because I knew the root of the problem lay with me and that to know and honor my boundaries was my responsibility, not anyone else’s.
I found a short length of barbed wire and kept it on my altar where I could see it everyday as a reminder, until one day I no longer needed a piece of barbed wire to remind me of my own boundaries.
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