Many years ago I encountered a boundary issue with a friend. The experience was upsetting to both of us and while it did not permanently damage our friendship, it was big enough that it got my attention.
Naturally, I blamed him for failing to recognize my boundaries and my response seemed disproportionate to the circumstances. We both felt betrayed.
After dissecting in my own mind what happened, and feeling righteously upset, it dawned on me that my sense of betrayal was one of self betrayal. I had failed to honor my own boundaries because I didn’t know what they were.
It was a revelation that left me euphoric because I knew the root of the problem lay with me and that to know and honor my boundaries was my responsibility, not anyone else’s.
I found a short length of barbed wire and kept it on my altar where I could see it everyday as a reminder, until one day I no longer needed a piece of barbed wire to remind me of my own boundaries.[Read more…] about Setting Boundaries: On Being Unfuc*withable